Conservative Beaver

News stories of interest to Proud Canadians




Rural Americans Try to Burn Kamala Harris At The Stake For Trespassing After She Shows Them A Photocopier

KANSAS— Vice President Kamala Harris caused quite a stir while trying to help rural Americans vote. She traveled to some of the most backwater areas of America — thousands of miles from civilization — and brought a photocopier to show them how to copy an ID card. The rural Americans were insulted, and soon became angry at Kamala.

“Get off my property!” exclaimed one simple rural American upon seeing his ID copied. He then pointed an accusing finger at Harris. “She is not welcome in these areas!”

“I am not trying to insult you,” Harris stated, though her statement was undercut by the way she was speaking. The angry rural folk then tied Harris to a stake to burn her as a witch.

“I’m just trying to show you how it works!” Harris pleaded with them. “That is the fault of the Republicans! I wanted to spare you from this!” The rural people ignored her and began lighting kindling around her feet.

“Jesus forgive them!” Harris called out. “They know not what they do! For they are too rural and simple! Their brains are filled with nothing but alcohol and crystal meth!” The Secret Service finally stepped in, put out the fire, untied Harris, and took her away on Airforce One.

5 arrests were made. The MSM in the USA is not reporting on this due to a publication ban, but Canadian media is allowed to report on it.

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